I showed up for Monica’s birthday this year! That’s a big deal for me, especially with my history of failed holidays and birthdays.
And it was not easy!
I didn’t start out with passion about anything I did for Monica on her birthday this year. As I shopped on Etsy.com I was tempted to see if anyone was selling handmade silver studded nooses so I could end it all. I went to the uppity flower store because I knew how important flowers were to her. I drew her a birthday card and creatively wrapped her presents because I knew she really like those kinds of things.
The point is I didn’t listen to the anxiety and I also didn’t wait for the passion or desire to do these things.
In the process a little magic happened. It seeped into the cracks usually filled by fear. I started to get a sense of enjoyment and satisfaction. I have to admit I started to feel some passion! Passion came after action, not before…maybe I’m on to something here!
This is central to our idea of the Marriage You Never Wanted. Wanting your marriage doesn’t mean you always have (or need) passion for it. Wanting your marriage means you willing to do what it takes even if the passion is not there. Can you and I stop waiting for passion before we act? It made a big difference for me!